sorry

i never felt this hurt before. she was the best part of my life. i dont know where the idea that i was leaving came from. i never even planned on leaving. and i still dont. im going to leave it up to you as to whether you want me out or not. but i did promise that whatever happens, im not going to leave you alone because thats what i promised. i never really changed, i just went through tough times and i had a hard time getting through them. just knowing that its something i didnt say killed it kills me. its not that i didnt want to say it. i did want to say it. but its weird cause whenever i was going to say it, i froze up! i was never using you and it was never pity love either. it was real and to me it was something new. i should have known better. i know it doesnt look like it makes sense but if i had one more chance to say what i should have said, i would. its all awkward now but i wish and hope that i can change that.. i just ended up hurting myself but more importantly you. it might be hard to believe but its true. all i know now is that i should have said more and kept some things quiet.

so all i can say is,

im so sorry